I'm Back On...

I'm back on coffee.

My brother in law, who makes me stinkin' laugh all the darn time, kept telling us that he was "off of sugar" all during our family Christmas party last weekend. I giggled every time he said it and he was dead serious when saying it. First of all, do you think he knows that his Sister in Law opened a bakery and brought three decadent desserts for our Christmas? Apparently that didn't matter cuz he was off of them/sugar. Well, you gotta give him an A for his convictions any ol' way.

So to steal his quote, I decided that the thing I am going to bring back for 2011 (I always "bring something back" and "ban" something each year) is...COFFEE!! Rich, Dark, Bold, Decadent COFFEE. I am SO back on coffee. I'm back I tell you.

I went cold turkey about 3 or 4 years ago and switched to tea with only the occasional cup of Jo here and there. But no more I say! I want it back in all of it's glorious, mug huggin', sensuous divinity. Now, I'm not banning the tea, I'm just back on coffee -- and I see lots of it in my future! Bring it! Iced, Hot, Coconut Creamer, Peppermint Creamer, Cinnamon Caramel creamer, black, latte style, ALL OF IT! I'm back on coffee people!

You heard me Jamez, I'm back on coffee! Not sure what I'm gonna ban yet for the year, but I AM gonna make a mug of delicious black gold right now! I thought I should bring it back a little early!

Thankful vs Fretting

Today I am thankful for our slowest day EVER...I'm not sure why yet, I just think my attitude should be one of thankfulness vs fret. For if nothing else, it helps me to know when our family is "safe" to go on vacations! :o)

I'm also thankful for all the great stuff my husband made for me in the bakery today that I can put out to sell tomorrow. I love being able to find stuff that he can help w/ -- not only in the making but in the generating of revenue!

Weekend Run Down

I've been a Girl Scout leader for nearly 8 years now. It's been a wonderful experience and we still have a troop of more than 10 young ladies in their teens that want to make a difference in the world - and all the while, I get to walk along side them as they make strides to do just that which moves their hearts to action. What a blessing it has been to watch these young girls BEcome such wonderful pillars in their community. I am so proud of them. I am so blessed.

Each Monday, the national Girl Scout blog I follow posts a "Weekend Run Down" report. They post about all that has happened on the business side of Girl Scouting as well as all the wonderful things that "girls" around the nation have done to earn various leadership awards in scouting.

I thought about that tonight and thought how great all of our lives would be if we did the same. If each of us posted our "Weekend Run Downs" about all that is great in our lives and all the great things that happened in our experience of our life. Even those that don't blog. Maybe you just want to journal it or tell it to God. Sometimes speaking out loud is the first great step in manifesting greatness for yourself (and others). Sometimes you need to stop and reflect to "get it" -- really get it. Sometimes seeing the DOING helps you BEcome an even more beautiful you.

How can it not work, really.

In a post I wrote much earlier this year, I quoted from the RED campaign. It still is my favorite of all of their quotes -- RediscoveRED -- "Rediscover you. Admire yourself more often. You are as beautiful as your heart remembers." Maybe in the "rundown" we can rediscover and admire and reflect and remember. Not just how beautiful the moment(s) was/were, but how beautiful we were IN the moment.

This past weekend (which came to a close for me yesterday as I had four days off), brought about rest, fun with family, snuggles, laughs, adventure, a sense of completion and organization, silliness and the realization that Christmas is full of excitement because of one thing and one thing only -- people trying to show other people how much they mean to each other. Each year, my youngest daughter (Caroline) signs her Christmas Family Memory Book page with "I love my family". However it is that you define "your family", I bet your Weekend Rundown includes lots and lots of ways that you seized the moment of Christmas and it meant a great deal to you...and them.

Time to Shine

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." ~ Steve Martin

Two things to "report" about today. First is to acknowledge that this is my least favorite day of the year. Do you really still ask why? It is the shortest "day" of the year today, Dec. 21st -- a day with the least amount of (wait for it....) SUNSHINE! Yuck. Who needs that? The good news is that from tomorrow on, the days get longer and that means more sunshine each day coming out to shine! I do love to shine you know?!

Second...As I mentioned a while back, CityGal Magazine asked me to be a contributing writer for their on-line magazine and I asked my daughters to do it with me and everyone agreed! Well, it is official that we (Annie, Caroline and I) have had our first article published this month! The Perspective Gals are in the house! Our first topic was on "fashion" and our goal was to pick a simple topic, say nothing to each other while we write, and each write about that topic in our totally and completely own perspective. I loved how it turned out and invite you to join the fun! Here are the links if you are interested!

My Perspective
Annie's
Caroline's

Time to shine on don't you think? :o)

Secretary in my Head

Today I am thankful for perfect timing. I truly didn't stop moving today (until now). Even when I was on the computer this morning checking emails, I was also balancing my checkbook, making out my menu and grocery list, doing the laundry, etc. And today, every single thing I did fell perfectly into place at just the right time. That amazes me. All errands run, all appointments met without being late for any of them, and tasks on today's "Must Do" list done. In fact, it is 4:34 right now and Yoga starts in 26 minutes, so technically, I have all my chores for the day done and have 26 minutes to spare. What a rush?! Yup, I know...I need help......

So today, I am thankful for the little secretary in my brain that keeps everything moving along just perfectly. You know her -- she's the one that also tells me when stuff is done in the oven and in my 30 years of baking, I have never once used a timer and have burnt very little. I know, right?!

I'm so gonna have to get her something for Secretary's Day....ooooo, maybe a massage. I bet she'd love that! :o)

Assistance

Today I am grateful for Megan. Megan is my new assistant at the bakery and she is going to cooking school full time. Friday mornings have become my new favorite time of the week because that young lady comes in to work! And by work, I mean W O R K! Together I feel like we actually catch me up for a few days! So today I am thankful for Megan...and God bringing her to the bakery to introduce herself to me when we opened!

Cookies

Today I am thankful for cookies. Though I had to remind myself to be grateful of them on several occasions today. It seems like that is all I'm baking lately and I have pounded out some pretty stinkin' great breads of late, but alas, it's all about the cookies. Truth is, those cookies pay the bills this time of year and I am so grateful for that. I also love, love, love cookies, so what's to complain about?

Besides, at least I'm making Santa's Fav'! :o) You don't see people leaving turtle cupcakes or cinnamon swirl cheesecakes out for Santa now do ya'?

Ma'an...we need to reconsider this whole cookie thing............. :o)

100

This is my 100th posting. Huh. Seems there should be a cake or something -- maybe I should have baked one! :o)

People I love keep asking me if I am going to quit my blog. I don't know why they ask me that. I'm clear I don't have hours upon hours to write anymore (or even a few minutes some days), but there is time to write sometimes and I, my friends, am no quitter.

My vision, goals and rewards for my blog are different now than they were 100 posts ago, but it is no less important to me. Then I "did it" to be open to new possibilities, for people who didn't know me but may be a link to a potentially great job opportunity could get to know more about me, to expose myself to new ways of connecting, but mostly to find an avenue that built a bridge out into the world from the little island I was closing myself onto.

Sure, I don't use it to find a new job any longer, but I love the friends I have made by blogging (Dani, Mary, Carolyn, Teri...). I love that people I love have a way to learn more about me and my real self (as I'm not a very good verbal communicator at all!!) (Lisa, my step mom). I love how "safe" this form of communicating is for me -- feels like it's ok to write about what's in my heart because I will actually get it out without crying in a distracting way (like when I write about my girls, people I love, etc.). But mostly, I love that I am using my heart to tell people (that I love) stuff that is true for me in a way that I KNOW that I would not tell otherwise (right honey?). :o)

So today, I am grateful for my 100th blog post. I'm grateful for all that it has brought to my life in the past year and I am grateful for the growth I have experienced in doing it. I am grateful that you read it as in each posting I am thinking of those that I know read my words and I feel a connection to you as I pour out the words from my heart.

Family Luvin'

My niece moved out of her family house and in with my dad and step mom this past 2 weeks. I have missed her so much over the past 18 years that when I am not with her now, it hurts more than it did when I would go for months and months without seeing or talking to her (not by our choice). So today, I am thankful that the pain of missing her is one that is fleeting and will, or rather, CAN be relieved at just about any ol' time I can make an 8 minute commute to love her! And I am grateful for nieces and nephews that have filled my heart, head and life with more joy than I can ever, EVER, possibly express here or to anyone in words.

Exciting Days

Today I am thankful for a day that light up my week!

I sold $250 worth of gift certificates today for someone who wants to give them to her employees and family! How amazingly wonderful is that? I am also thoughtful that I built it and they are coming as we have sold more than a dozen of our new homemade cards by Lisa and just today sold two of the pictures off our walls that Kelly photographed! It's amazing!

I don't think I could lay my head down on the pillow tonight anymore grateful than I am feeling right now!

Tears

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears..." ~ Charles Dickens

I've noticed as each year passes that I am able to cry with much more ease. All jokes about peri-menopause aside, I don't fear crying anymore. I used to. But I'm not afraid to cry anymore - ever. Though I do make fun of myself when the Huggies commercial comes on and the baby's diaper doesn't fit her, but otherwise I have an entirely new view on it.

I think that I am not afraid to cry anymore because for the last dozen or so years, I have been a work in progress and my biggest exercise has been in authenticity. So inauthentic was the old me that friends and I have named my "old" personality, Molly. That bi_ch never cried. Well she couldn't. She was too busy being tough, ever-strong, the leader -- cold if you ask me (now).

Truth is, I think crying, in any form, is the authentic self coming to the surface. Holding it back, keeping it down, trying to stop or hide it is disingenuous. You want to cry, you want to feel, you want to experience. So why then do we make up stories that we can't, shouldn't, won't?

I want to spend the second half of my life paying attention to my life, feeling all that I can, and learning who I am in that moment. I want to feel like I am a tough, brave, strong woman when I cry because I tell my daughters how much I love them, or when the stress is too much to bear some days, or when my cats are so stinkin' cute and loving that I want to burst, or when the character in the movie/book/story dies or suffers in some way or better yet celebrates joy. I want to feel all that there is to feel in that moment.

I'm not ashamed to cry anymore. I'm not ashamed to cry while talking to you, or sitting quietly by myself, or watching a movie. I'm just not. But it does weird me out when "you" look (stare) at me when I am. I don't want "you" to not see me, I just want you to know that the woman you are looking at isn't afraid to BE my authentic self. I'm not afraid to experience all of my emotions. And I hope when you are done staring, you will see a part of your own self that just missed out on the experience, because "you" chose to be something other than free to cry, free to feel, while you were staring at a woman not afraid to show her heart to you.

I'm so tired........

Today I am thankful for all the people that came out to our little town to have fun making cookie ornaments and writing letters to Santa and having their picture taken with him too. I'm thankful for my niece Hannah Lynne and I'm thankful for my friends and family that think soooo much of me that they would drive all the way out to our sweet little bakery to have some holiday fun with us!

I'm also thankful that days end and that my couch is a mere 7 steps away.........goood nighttttt!

Kitties, trust, prayers

Today I am grateful for kitties that love me so much, daughters that trust me, and funny prayers.

I am so impressed by how Bigearra hears the garage door open and runs to the lockers to wait right by the door until he sees us and then meows at us about finally being home to rub him. Caroline has "trust issues" -- big time. I keep working thru' them, but nonetheless, they show up all the time. I finally got her to trust me enough that she needed her eyebrows waxed for the first time and the pain would be minimal. She gave into "peer pressure" as she calls and is thankful she did it. And tonight at prayer time, Annie said thanks for weekends FOUR different ways, didn't realize she did it, and then we reminded her it's only Wednesday. HA! Good times!

Energy & Letting Go

Today I am grateful for energy and all of it's colors -- red, yellow, white. I am grateful for healing. I am grateful for friends and their power. I am grateful for my hands and their ability to let go.

Mom helped me in the bakery all day today and we got a ton done. Then I came home to shower and headed over to Three Sisters' Spirit for a little Reiki-sage (NO idea how to spell that) in my desperate attempt to do anything to help heal my shoulder/arm/wrist/hand. I don't know how energy and the world and God work. I just know that right now I am typing without much pain and numbness and I couldn't wait to do so! I enjoyed the heart connected visit of a friend I see very little of anymore and I learned more about myself again.

OH! And I am thankful for help in the bakery and for tears that gently fell as I learned to release. And I'm thankful for Dani and popcorn.

Yes, popcorn.

Today I am grateful for not being claustrophobic, for being organized, and for my Diet Coke. I started my day by having an MRI to see if they could figure out this shoulder/arm/hand thing and just shy of 7 hours later, I am finally home to unpack all the days errands.

I don't need no stinkin' GPS thingee -- the little secretary in my brain mapped out the entire day for me and I barely missed a beat -- with a cool refreshing beverage of my choice in my hand for most it! :o)

Hair

I am SOOOO thankful for finally being able to pay attention to my hair. Which is sad really, because my sister has been doing my hair since she went to "Beauty School" -- 20 years ago -- so you'd think it would be easy for me, but what a whirlwind the last 4 months have been. Let's just say I am also thankful for no more outgrowth and those newly blossoming hairs of a new color! I am also thankful for traditions, for daughters who don't want for anything, and for best friends.

Pecan Pie, Tears of Laughter

Today I am grateful for Pecan Pie, for daughters that make me laugh so hard that tears come out of my eyes, for sisters and nieces and nephews who love to come to my bakery and help, and for customers that go out of their way to bring their good, kind and full energy to our little Sweet Shoppe.

Gratitude is my Attitude

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough...makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Melody Beattie

Back at the beginning of my 30's, I became aware of my desire to speak, listen, see and feel graciousness. I started to come into my authentic self and each day I became more and more aware of one of the most important things to me -- a thankful heart. I became increasingly full of wanting to express what I noticed, to pay compliments to others that were of value (as in: that dress looks so great ON YOU vs I like your dress), to not be afraid to tell complete strangers (including children) something worthy that I noticed about them. I became fully and completely aware that all anyone wants is to feel of value and BE of value.

And I started keeping a gratitude journal (not my original idea...got it from Sarah Breathnach). It was simple for me. I wrote down at least one thing everyday that I noticed that I was grateful for. Some days it was the weather or a good friend...others it was baby geese or a beautiful tree. It didn't matter the subject, what mattered was that my heart opened itself to awareness, to light, to life, to living. I still have that journal, though I don't write in it anymore.

I'm still having (a lot) of pain and trouble w/ my arm (I can NOT tell you how much this hurts to type right now), but I've decided that I'm thankful that I can feel pain and I'm more grateful now for when I don't feel pain. And that is where this foundation for me will start. As you know, I miss my blog. I miss being able to spend a half hour a few times per week spilling out what I've noticed or become aware of. So, in keeping with my ideal not to settle for a life any less than great, I've decided that at the very least, as many times a week as I can, I will (again, at least) spew out what I have noticed to be grateful for that day. In doing so, it will be my full expectation that my heart will become more full, my eyes more open, and my mind more clear. In doing so, I may even remind someone else of what they are grateful for that day. And in doing so, another day will pass in my life's desire for great life.

And on the days when I can handle more than a day's quick observation, I shall write more...and on that day, I shall be grateful for being able to do so.

I Need a Disco Ball

"We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I've decided that there's something missing in my life. A disco ball. I really, really think that if people made the day a little more silly, goofy, playful - that perhaps life would just be that much more incredible. So, I need a disco ball.

I would hang it in the bakery so that when the Jackson 5 come on or perhaps KC & the Sunshine Band or maybe a little Earth, Wind and Fire, well, I can be ready. I can dance my little fanny around my bakery and have a silly, fun moment.

I'm also thinking I need one in my house. Right above my kitchen island. Though, I would have to be careful not to think I have any talents at all that would allow me to dance with a large chef's knife. I thought about putting it in my Laundry Room, but honestly, when I was a little girl, I remember my Auntie Lisa saying that she was gonna put one in her laundry room someday to make laundry more fun. I didn't do laundry at the time, so I had no idea what she meant, but since I now love doing laundry, I think it best to put it out in the open (plus, I don't want to steal her idea). Maybe I need to buy three. One for her too.

Anyway you slice it, I need a disco ball.

I Know Awesome

"I know awesome" ~ My husband

I'm typing this literally as he is saying. "I know awesome." He cracks me up. And he has no idea that he just inspired this blog sitting next to me. That cracks me up too.

But really, he's wrong. Cuz I think I KNOW AWESOME! Afterall, there was no way I was marrying again. And then I found him. HE is Awesome. I know you already know that I think the world of him, but I don't think you know what he has done in the last two months (plus) to make my little "endeavor" successful.

My husband selflessly gives up every spare minute he has to helping me in the bakery. He measures ingredients for recipes for me so I can do more. He cleans the floors and does dishes so I can concentrate on baking more. Not to mention all the extra chores around the house he has picked up (like mopping our floors!). He manages all the bakery deposits for me. And he joyfully shows up to my/our customers in a sassy, loving manner as if to say "thanks for coming to our bakery and showing my wife how great she can be"!

All this while still being the world's best daddy, and working his own job, and being all the other things he is and does. What I do know is this, I couldn't do this without him and I don't think he knows that.

Well, "Buddy", I couldn't and I wouldn't want to do this without you. You are, as always, my Man o' Steel.

Valuable Commodity

"A man who dares to waste one hour of his life has not discovered the value of life." ~ Charles Darwin

It seems that I've kinda lost something in the last few months...something that is more precious to me than anything else at all. Time. It seems to be moving faster than I can even comprehend these days. Again, for me, there is nothing more important than time, so I'm finding myself out of balance. Now, don't get me wrong, I am starting to get my groove on at work so there is a routine starting to develop, but I am still having a hard time adjusting.

For instance, we didn't go apple picking this year. I have gone apple picking every year that I can remember for more than 20 years. But not this year. Insert sad face here. There is just something so wonderful about noticing what God did a simple tree and how much joy it can bring to me, our family, other families.

I clean the bathrooms in between stuff now. I dust while doing other things. I vacuum floors on different days (or my husband does it). Weird and yet, not wrong. Just noticing how I'm/we're squeezing stuff in lately to maximize time. This kind of "time crunch" stuff doesn't seem to bother me so much.

However, not having time for spending with people I love is getting on my nerves...rather it's getting on my heart. We haven't played with my sister and brother in law in months! We still haven't been down to see our friend Keith and Randy's new condo. Yoga hasn't started back up. I don't even know whose turn it is to host our next Luv Fest w/ my girlfriends and husbands.

I miss the time I used to have for luvin'. I miss the time I used to have for self-luvin' too -- like keeping up my blog. So I'm just working through the frustration of all of that right now.

And I'm remembering to be grateful. I'm grateful for the opportunity, strength, wisdom and knowledge to run my own business. I'm grateful that I married the world's most perfect husband and am grateful for all he does to help me keep up with my chores and errands and stuff to fix, clean, do, make, go to, get, etc. I'm grateful for all my friends and family who have bent their schedules around mine to spend time with me. And I'm grateful that I know that this too shall pass....just like time.

Thank You's

I'm cheating a little with this post, but it is important enough for me to put in both places, so I hope that if you haven't, you will visit my post today on Sally's Sweet Shoppe blog (see right side menu).

Perspective Gals

Annie, Caroline and I have written our intro articles, our first official topic articles, and have submitted them to CityGal Magazine. It was really, really fun doing it!

For our intros, we were asked to come up with a name (something Gals - we went with Perspective Gals) and introduce ourselves, list our favorite quote, and then discuss our goals for writing. So, I thought I would copy and paste our intro articles here for you. I do not know what the final, edited version will be, but will post the link here as soon as we get word. Our first article is on FASHION, and as soon as those are edited, I will also link here for you.

I think the girls did a fantastic job! And I even learned something (more) about each of them in reading their intros! And that's what this is all about after all....

Perspective Gals, Mom

Favorite Quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” (Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love)

My name is Tracey, but you can call me Sally ~ as in Sally Sunshine. I have had that nickname for more than 15 or 20 years now and I earned it!

Since before I was a teenager, though I didn’t know it, I was a stand for making an impact in children’s lives. Back then, I was the world’s best and busiest babysitter. When I was 19, I became a volunteer at Children’s Hospital of WI. When I was in my lower 20’s, I became a Big Sister (and still am in love with my “little” – she is now in her mid-twenties). Ten years ago, I became a step mom to two of the most beautiful children you’d ever want to meet. Annie (Gracey as I call her) is 14 and has just started High School. Caroline (I call her Mary) is 12 and just entered Middle School. They’re not your typical teenagers by any stretch of the imagination. They are love and joy-filled, confident, aspiring, respectful, and fun. Eight years ago, I became a Girl Scout leader and even though our girls are in High School and Middle School now, we still have a troop of 13 amazing young woman determined to make a difference in their communities. Fast forward to 2009…we decided to become a Foreign Exchange student Host Family. Our daughter, “Stefi” stole our hearts within the first hour and when she left to go back to Mexico, a little piece of me left with her and the other parts are still weeping from the loss.

I love to acknowledge children – smile at them, talk to them as equals, compliment them, High-Five ‘em – simply acknowledge their greatness in the course of any given day. You see, what I hold so important in my heart (to make an impact on children) has been what has had the greatest impact on me.

And that is really what these articles that my daughters and I will be writing about – the impact of everyday issues on each of us from our very own perspectives. We are going to broach a topic from three different, yet equally respectable positions --everyday topics that have different, not right or wrong, viewpoints. We’ll take these topics and tell you what we each, separately, think about them in the hopes of opening your eyes, your children’s eyes or your parent’s eyes to another consideration ~ to make an impact on your thinking.

Our goal will be to open up discussions within our community that expand possibility, that inspire change, that move you, and that touch your heart.

Annie Burdick
Perspective Gals, Daughter, 14

Favorite Quote: “In life, there are no mistakes, only lessons.”

I am not going to start this article by saying, “Hi, my name is Annie and I like swimming, reading and laughing” because that is beyond generic. But, other than that, I really don’t know how I want to start this. Well, I guess I can sum myself up like this…my sister Stefi always said I was quite charming and I loved it. But it’s not entirely true; I am totally quiet around people I don’t know. Most people who know me would say I’m funny-which I like to think is true. And I’m smart and pretty awesome (I hope). I do love swimming, reading and laughing and I adore pizza and French fries. I think the best things we are given in life are family and friends. But enough about me.

I hope our articles will make you smile, but mostly I hope it will make you think and understand a different perspective.

Caroline Burdick
Perspective Gals, Daughter, 12

Favorite Quote: “Well, we can’t all come and go by bubble!” –Elphaba (Wicked the Musical)

Let’s start this off with a question. Have you ever looked at life differently? I have. In fact, I try to do it often. Because, when you look at the blue sky through purple colored eyes, your life can change. My step-mom (Ma) always says that my “sky is purple” and that I’m “her butterfly”. I know that, theoretically, she’s right. I see a sunset as God’s painting, and a daisy sticking up through the concrete as a lonely friend, and everything is a good idea for a story because I’m a writer.

I like to make people laugh, or smile, or see things in a way they never would have seen them before. I am full of ideas, laughs, smiles, songs, dances and love. My friends say I’m awesome, smart, crazy, funny, and sweet. Bottom line - I am a creative, joyful, 12 year old girl.

In this article, and my section, I will share my opinion or perspective on the topic. The topic will be a situation that you would find in a lot of everyday households. We will give our opinion on the topic (agree, don’t agree, like, dislike, and why) and you can read our opinions and create one of your own. I hope you can use our perspectives and reasoning to think about the topic and your opinion and maybe change it. I hope kids and teens will learn (from someone other than their parents) why the topic is a rule, and that parents will discover (from someone other than their kids) why their kids don’t agree with some rules.

Because, when you look at something through different eyes, your perspective can change.

Love vs Fear

"If fear is only in our heads, than what are we so afraid of?" ~ Natasha Bedingfield

I've spent a great deal of time in the last 15 years working on my authentic self and one of my greatest lessons has been that all actions, thoughts, words, etc. come from one of two places -- Love or Fear. Note the use of the word "or". While sure one can coincide with the other, it really is one OR the other that wins out.

One of my all-time, EVER, favorite songs is called "Happy" by Natasha Bedingfield (click on Happy to hear it and see the words). Never has a song resonated so loudly in my heart. I simply love it. There are quite a few songs that move me and my heart is tied to it because it reminds me of my daughters, my nieces/nephews, sisters, mom, hubby, friends, etc. but this song is mine! And what is ironic about it is that it tells a story about my "old" life. I don't have these troubles or woes anymore, but without fail being happy is a lifelong quest I have. And I do have SO many reasons to be happy!

My favorite line from the song is the quote above. I think of it often and wonder if that is right, and I believe that it is, why do we fear so many of the things we do if fear is all in our heads? Now, I really don't care what you say here, cuz I am NOT going in the water. Fear may be in my head, but the sharks/fish are still in the water. Even so, I get that it is still in my head.

I think about that often. I think about what makes people tick and do what they do and I identify their fear or love. If you've not read The Mastery of Love (a VERY quick read), you must do this for yourself. For you too will discover your own fears and loves and in doing so, you'll discover why others do what they do, and in the knowing, you can be happy because you don't own their fear.

Having said that, you could be part of their love.

Just the facts, Ma'am...

"Life is short and it's up to you to make it sweet." ~ Sarah Delaney

Ma'an, I gotta use that quote for my bakery! :o)

My sister in law, Julianne, turned 50 this week. My baby sister, Doli, flew home today (and I stinkin' miss her so much already!!). My 25th class reunion is tonight (and guess who runs it?!). And that's just since yesterday! :o)

The bakery has been doing better than I could have ever imagined. In a zillion years I don't think that I could have imagined that people would have been THIS supportive and in love with having a little bakery in their town. This was the start of our third week in business and I have already made 10 specialty cakes for customers! I find that to be simply amazing! Maybe Genesee Depot will rise to be a mini-Cedarburg or Lake Geneva kind of place for folks to gather! I can say this, the restaurants are awfully busy from what I can see. I'm just so happy about it all! I started (today actually) being featured in some of the local restaurants too. Pal's Ice Cream and Grille will be featuring our dill/cottage cheese rolls with their salads and soups and The Cornerstone Restaurant will be featuring our (completely decadent) Dark Chocolate Truffle filled Cupcakes. I'm so excited to see what their customers thought!

My sister was here for a whirlwind visit - came Wednesday and flew out this morning. I cried myself to sleep when I left her. I just stinkin' love and miss her so much (and her family and my Momma). It always feels like it's going to be 5 years before I see her/them again.

My daughters and I have written our first articles for CityGal and now I need to submit them for editorial review, etc. I will be sure to show you all what we have written, but I just loved doing that with them. We wrote about "fashion". That's it. We pick a topic and simplify it so we can't sway each other's thinking and then we write our individual takes on the subject. I loved what I learned about my girls and their age group on this topic.

And my reunion is tonight. 25 years. That kinda weirds me out. And while I never did drugs in school, I have an absolutely terrible memory of high school, yet it still feels like I was just walking down those halls -- and not for my daughter Stefi's open houses or my nephew's games either!

Having one of those "just the facts" kind of posts today. Not too inspired, yet I had some facts to report, or so it seems. Hope everyone is having a fun fall preview weekend! :o)

Prayers

"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays." ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Lately, I've noticed that my blog circle of friends is filled with the written words of their prayers. And what I have noticed above all else, is that these beautifully vocal women who choose their words so very carefully and intentionally do not pray FOR anything. Rather, they give thanks in their prayers for so very much.

I have come to believe very strongly in not asking God for anything but rather to thank him for what I have been given even when I can not see or understand it. I have believed this for a very long time. I practice it in my mothering too. When we pray before meals, my family does not pray for anything from God, but rather we speak what we are thankful for that day. It's our end of the day gratitude reflection, if you will.

Amy Grant has a song out right now that so touches my heart called "Better Than a Hallelujah" and I just love the "permission" she sings about to cry out to God...that even though we pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody". While I think it's not wrong to cry out to God, I have come to believe that I have so much to be thankful for in my life that I just want God to know I hear him too.

When I open my blog every day, I read over and over again the thanks all these deeply thoughtful women pour out and it seems that of late, it has been resoundingly loud. I'm touched when I read their words of gratitude for their experiences (no matter how grave), their new beginnings and discoveries, their past reflections and growth, their compassion and their undying love for others and belief in raising others up, and for their playing BIG despite all those that would try to crumple their greatness.

I'm thankful tonight for the all the prayers I have read lately that seem to once again want to lift up the world and I'm thankful again for being able to feel their love for others...since I consider myself to be one of the "others" in the world any ol' way.

Dear God,
Thank you for your many voices in the world that remind us of the beauty and love you created in us and around us. Thank you for my voice to say thank you and thank you for all the changes you have created in me. ~ Amen

I think my blog is an opportunity for my own growth even more than it has been. I used to keep a gratitude journal, but I KEPT it to myself. I've been looking for a new purpose for my blog (since I found a "job" and all) :o) and since what really moves me is noticing the greatness around me, I think that is the direction I will take my blog. I will still want to chat about what crappy gardener I am or how I've noticed things and people in my world, but I feel strongly pulled to be more grateful.

And I have a lot to be grateful for.

I Miss My Blog

Haven't had enough time lately. Not enough time for much of anything but, well, you know. I miss my blog and I miss spending 20 minutes a day with all my "blog friends". It's now 8:26 and I am actually gonna go to bed. Yup, bed.

I know right? Even before my daughters (or most children for that matter). But I'm pooped.

My (step) Mom helped me in the bakery today almost the entire day. It was so nice to have her there to help me. She ran the cash register and kept up my dishes while I baked. We both got to delight in our customers and it was nice to have her to help carry some of the conversations.

I'm blessed. But I'm still tired and going to bed. Even though a part of me wants to write down all that has happened in the past week including Caroline running in her first Cross Country meet tonight. I'm soooo stinkin' proud of her, but that story will have to wait cuz (again), I'm going to bed!

Sweet dreams! :o)

My Friend, Bill

"One day we were brought into the world knowing love only as being what we had for our toys, family, and friends. Then you meet someone who alters your conception of love, and you never know how you loved anything before because of this kind of love."

About 5 years or more ago, my close friend, Pedro, who I have vacationed with many times, bought a week vacation at house in Jamaica that had six bedrooms. So of course John and I were in. But so were four other rooms of people which meant that I was going to go on vacation with strangers and also have to share Pedro and Karen's company. Pedro said, "Sally, you are going to love these people".

"Pedro, I don't need to 'love these people' -- I can barely keep up with the lovin' of my friends I do have. Really, I just wanna go on vacation and love and have fun with you and Karen and my husband and that's all."

I fell madly in love with most of them and have told you about this before in brief when talking of my "twin" friend, Keith (Solly). Well I haven't talked about my friend, Billy. And yesterday, my friend Bill came up and spent the entire day with me at the bakery. THE ENTIRE DAY! Now let's be clear; Bill is an emergency room nurse who works long, long hours and went to bed early on Tuesday and had the day off yesterday to spend working in the bakery with me on my first day!

I'm trying to express what I feel about this gesture but words escape me. The tears however, do not. I am welled up with tears as I write this (thank God I know where "home-row" is on my computer so I can type w/o looking). My heart has swollen from his graciousness and it is truly hard for me to imagine being able to ever "pay him back" for such generosity and support. I love, love, deeply love, that he did this for me. He just opened up his heart and said "THIS is how I am going to support Sally"!

And truly, I could not have made it through the day without him. I'm also so glad he was there not just to make such lovely treats that he did for the bakery (see my Facebook page), but also because he made the day seem real for me. He held me up yesterday and believed more in my success and me than words can express. As I said, words escape me (Merry Me or Dani or Pam or Carolyn, can you help a girl out here!) :o)

So, Billy, my friend, today I salute you. I salute the stand you are for people's greatness. I salute your energy and generosity and graciousness. Mostly, I just love you. Deeply. Thank you for all of this, for seeing the beauty of how much my Daddy and Papa adore me and how the little girl in me wants to be adored. And thank you for loving me back.

My Prayer

Dear Lord ~ Thank you for the plan you had for me when I didn't know. Thank you for the past year of discovering and of crossing things off my forever list. Thank you for reminding me each day that it was in your hands and that when I was ready, another great adventure would begin. Thank you for teaching me that my story is true, that I'm not punched in to money and that what I have has always been enough. Amen

PS Here's to Sa-Weet Success! Now let's go get this bakery open!! ;o)

Do What Makes You Feel Alive

"Don't ask what the world needs (from you)...ask what makes you feel alive (and do that)."

I heard this on my (Christian) radio station today and it has resounded in me all day. I've never heard it said that way before. Don't ask what the world needs - ask what makes you feel ALIVE! I SOOO love this. Just saying it awakens little sparkles in me.

My husband asked me if I was going to keep my blog going, you know, now that I've found a job. Which is what started this whole thing for me. I wanted a way to express my greatness and the greatness that I saw in others and I wanted a way for people who didn't "know" me to get to know me in an intimate way.

I AM going to continue to blog as it makes me feel alive, connected, authentic, and in communion (of sorts). I AM going to continue to blog because I STILL am a stand for greatness (mine and others). I AM going to continue to blog because there are more stories to tell about how great people are and how all these great people people are connected to their next level of greatness.

My stand is still the same ~ I am still on the path to creating the grandest version of myself that God has intended for me. I am still determined to fill my life with joy, love, and creativity. And I am still loving all that I have discovered along the way.

There is clearly a morphing that is transpiring for me this past few months as I discover this next "me" that I am becoming. Not just as a business owner, or a baker, but also as I begin my seventh body ~ you know, the shedding of yourself (literally and figuratively) every seven years. This body seems to be more connected to my brain and my brain seems to be struggling for every single scrap of authenticity it can capture. I like that this body is less afraid than the others and I like that this body doesn't give as much of a crap about everybody else's stories. I really like that this body/brain knows they are just "their stories" and I don't have to make them mine.

And I like blogging. It gives me a way to touch another's heart and sometimes I don't even know who's heart I'm touching by just speaking my story. It's just one of the many things in life that makes me feel alive.

I'm supposed to be sleeping!

No quote today...it's too darn early in the morning to do research! :o)

It's 4:30 in the morning and I, on one of my last days of being able to sleep, or rather wake, like normal people, am wide awake. The pressure of the bakery is getting to me. Not like "oh no", but like "uggh...enough already...let's just be done and get going". My brain simply will not turn off and any little noise will wake me.

You know, like the sound of cats wanting to play, or a husband lightly snoring, or this weird dripping noise that the gutter outside of our bedroom window makes (even when it's not raining). My brain is so wide awake that after an hour, I just gave up and came down here to pout. I don't pout much, yet it feels "safe" to do so here.

I'm a get it done, do it great and as near perfection as you can kinda gal. You simply can't do that when you open a new business. There just aren't the funds or resources to do it that way. So I find myself stressing over the things that aren't just perfect. I keep telling myself that in time it will come or that it doesn't matter ~ but truth be told, those little sentences never work for me. Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my father after all.

But it really IS OK. Maybe the sleep will come after we're open. Funny. I thought that was when I was going to miss sleep. For now, there simply aren't enough hours in the day, so I shall allow myself some grace and acceptance if I find myself not sleeping at 4:00 in the morning and blogging about it instead. And then I shall move on to another task that needs to get done ~ like my Girl Scout agenda for this year or an article for CityGal magazine or figuring out my next class or one of the millions of tasks that still need to get done for the bakery.

As my best friend's husband says, "I can sleep when I'm dead", right?! I have a feeling that at about 2:00 this afternoon, I may feel like the walking dead! Verona Blend Starbucks with Coconut Creamer here I come!! Now that's making lemons into Vodka and Lemonade folks!! :o)

Sweet Dreams!! (unless you're dreaming of muffins and truffles and cookies and chocolate dipped brownies and lemon raspberry cupcakes and and and...well then you should really open a bakery if that's the case!!)

I Just Love, Love.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift of life is yours; it is an amazing journey; and you alone are responsible for the quality of it." ~ Dan Zadra (The Book of Moxie)

One of my bestest friends of my life got married one week ago today. Rhonda has had a difficult, crazy, fun, challenging, sad, love-filled discovery of her self and her life the past dozen or so years. She came to the self aware, self loving, thump on the head realization that she is gay. I think God wanted her to discover her true self when she did so she could have the children she had and I now think the same of her partner, Michele and her three children.

So there they are -- a Brady Bunch for a new generation. A generation that has hopefully learned to speak more from love than from fear. A generation that hopefully will learn that all people were created in God's image to create the greatest version of themselves that God intended for us to. Hopefully.

I'm proud of Kay (my nickname for Rhonda) and The Professor (my nickname for Michele as she is on the track to securing her PhD and become a professor - go her!!). I'm proud because they found it important to invite the 60 people they love and cherish to come and celebrate with them as they announce and profess their commitment, desire, and belief in each other and their partnership in love. Take that Wisconsin and your "laws".

Because really, isn't that what it is REALLY all about? Isn't what we have found for another human being beyond anything written down as a law or rule or jurisdiction? Does your heart listen to what others tell you? Not if you lead with love.

And Rhonda always, always does. She ALWAYS leads with love. She has for the 29 years that I have been friends with her and she never waivers from her stand. For me, a good day is the day that we all understand how much better HER stand is than where we are currently planting our feet. For me, her stand for love is nothing short of beautiful. As for me, I always have and I always will stand with her.

I can't believe how much I suck at this!

"A good garden may have some weeds." ~ Thomas Fuller

HA! Some weeds? SOME! I'm not sure how much more I can take. If I read one more lovely blog about how your garden grows or see one more beautiful picture of how lovely your tomatoes (or cucumbers, Mary) :o) grow, I might just throw up. OH -- don't get me wrong and DO be clear...I am TOTALLY JEALOUS!

I'm not afraid to admit that. Look, there are two things that I am REALLY REALLY REALLY bad at...gardening (apparently) and making Chinese food. Yes I went to cooking school, but what can I tell ya', it wasn't in China.

My ex-mother-in-law taught me how to garden and to her defense, I USED to be really pretty good at it. I planned out my gardens, knew what to plant next to what, knew what I wanted to grow (as in what was worth the effort to get garden fresh taste), tarped my garden to keep out the weeds and warm the soil, even started my own seeds in February so they'd be ready for the 14 growing season in Wisconsin, and cared and tended to my lovely babies.

What the hell happened?

I (now) only grow tomatoes and peppers and I have to say, "GROW" might be a stretch of a new definition. It really is as pa-thet-a-sad as my stir-fry. I can't take it! Mary posts pictures of her lovely plants, Dani posts pictures like these of beautiful items she buys from the local farmer's at the market, people I don't even KNOW (from the "blog circle of love" as I call it) post this and this and this! OH! This last one REALLY got me! I implore you all -- STOP the madness!! I can't take it!

Maybe I should post my very own pictures so you can see what I am talking about. In fact...I WILL. OK -- I JUST took these.......