My Journey Not to Settle...anymore!: I'm supposed to be sleeping!

My favorite quote (or reminder as I like to think of them)...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” (Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm supposed to be sleeping!

No quote today...it's too darn early in the morning to do research! :o)

It's 4:30 in the morning and I, on one of my last days of being able to sleep, or rather wake, like normal people, am wide awake. The pressure of the bakery is getting to me. Not like "oh no", but like "uggh...enough already...let's just be done and get going". My brain simply will not turn off and any little noise will wake me.

You know, like the sound of cats wanting to play, or a husband lightly snoring, or this weird dripping noise that the gutter outside of our bedroom window makes (even when it's not raining). My brain is so wide awake that after an hour, I just gave up and came down here to pout. I don't pout much, yet it feels "safe" to do so here.

I'm a get it done, do it great and as near perfection as you can kinda gal. You simply can't do that when you open a new business. There just aren't the funds or resources to do it that way. So I find myself stressing over the things that aren't just perfect. I keep telling myself that in time it will come or that it doesn't matter ~ but truth be told, those little sentences never work for me. Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my father after all.

But it really IS OK. Maybe the sleep will come after we're open. Funny. I thought that was when I was going to miss sleep. For now, there simply aren't enough hours in the day, so I shall allow myself some grace and acceptance if I find myself not sleeping at 4:00 in the morning and blogging about it instead. And then I shall move on to another task that needs to get done ~ like my Girl Scout agenda for this year or an article for CityGal magazine or figuring out my next class or one of the millions of tasks that still need to get done for the bakery.

As my best friend's husband says, "I can sleep when I'm dead", right?! I have a feeling that at about 2:00 this afternoon, I may feel like the walking dead! Verona Blend Starbucks with Coconut Creamer here I come!! Now that's making lemons into Vodka and Lemonade folks!! :o)

Sweet Dreams!! (unless you're dreaming of muffins and truffles and cookies and chocolate dipped brownies and lemon raspberry cupcakes and and and...well then you should really open a bakery if that's the case!!)