My Journey Not to Settle...anymore!: Rewards

My favorite quote (or reminder as I like to think of them)...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” (Marianne Williamson - A Return to Love)

Monday, February 22, 2010

Rewards

“Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose." ~ Mary Shelley

At the start of my "time off", I was SOOO excited for all the stuff I had to do (before I started to look for a job). Repaint the basement, clean, and I mean CLEAN (like you do when you move in or out of somewhere new) every room in the house, get my recipes organized, and so on. The list of stuff to do was H-U-G-E! And I mean long! I couldn't work fast enough or get enough done. Now, I've always been a great list-maker -- one of the best really. I simply don't work without lists. In fact (ok, here's the part where you really get to make fun of me), I have my Honey-Do list Typed, 12-Font, in Excel at all times. I know, I know...but honestly, I've looked, there is no help for someone like me....It is in my Honey-Do (which ironically is just a Honey-Me-Do) that I find my steady purpose each day.

I worked really hard to get as much off that list as I could for the past few months and it is nearly complete (oh, who are we kiddin', I'm never gonna put those darn pictures in albums), and I am noticing that I miss my steady purpose. Now, I know my purpose should be (and don't get me wrong, it is) to find a great job, but c'mon, it's not nearly as exciting as how cool the basement looked when I repainted it (in a day and half, mind you!)! But that's my (steady) purpose now. Finding a great job. Kinda boring really. But a purpose none-the-less. It is exciting to meet new people that you have a chance to learn something from (which I really try to do with each person I meet) and to have conversations that wake up visions of "what if" in your head. But otherwise, really boring.

And maybe the difference is that doing all my other "to-do's" were rewarding. I saw results for the efforts I gave. The house looks fantastic. My meals have never been more health-full and creative. I've never been able to be so attentive to the people I love. Rewards. And that for me is what is missing now. This steady purpose has not resulted in rewards (I know I should enter the word "yet" here) and what I am left with is feeling like I'm wasting my time. UGGH! There's that TIME thing again!

OK...so I'm off to start the daily Great Job Search. I just think you should know that I am seriously thinking of shooting myself out of a canon with a big banner that says "Hire Me - I'm Amazing - I can transform business with you!!" -- after all, at least that method of the Great Job Search would have a fun ride for a reward!