Why Do I Do Laundry?

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."



Happy Random Ramblings Friday! I took the girls to school this morning and came home to find BigEarra happily snuggling on my freshly dried laundry. So special. Especially since now I will have to rewash the whole load of John and Annie's clothes since they are both allergic to cats. Good times! But you gotta admit, it is stinkin' cute as heck!! :o) He is so darn loveable, how can I possibly be upset. All he wants is love and worship! Good thing laundry is my favorite (yes I have one) chore. Or else he'd be in big trouble I tell you!! I'm not really sellin' that one to you, am I? Well, it IS my favorite chore...........

Heard from one of my past customers today. When I was at Horizon, we built their stores (Christopher & Banks). By far my favorite customers!! They ran an organized, uncomplicated store with fantastic people working for them and did this rare thing called "getting out of our way so we can build it". Such great people! Such smart business folks!

Well, Chris was just checking in on me to see if I have ended up anywhere yet. I should really tell him to read my blog! :o) But he did give my ego a HUGE boost today (and after 4 + months of NOT having anyone interested in hiring (or interviewing) me, I needed that!). He said "Well you hang in there and try to maintain a positive attitude. I just can’t see someone with your skill-set and enormous personality held down for much longer. And as a FYI – I know how great you are." Well thank God! 'Cuz really, I was starting to wonder if I made up my entire work history story!! And I'm pretty sure he wasn't calling me fat....... I mean my PERSONALITY really IS enormous! ;o) Hee Hee

That's it for today's observations. I'm off to bake some beautiful Queen Shortbread Crowns. I can't wait to see how pretty they turn out. Pray for a wonderful experience for us tomorrow as I introduce my cookies from their new home at Three Sisters' Spirit at the big Art Crawl in downtown Waukesha! How fun is this gonna be!?

Have a Sunshine-y Day today!!

Molly Got Her "A" Kicked!

"They can't censor the gleam in my eye." ~ From the book of Moxie, Charles Laughton

Well, I'm 6 days into my new adventure. For 6 days, I've been working on Cookie Concoctions and been wishy washy about it as well - even applied for a couple of jobs. Of course I have (you say). I'm breathing right down the neck of fear...or rather, it's breathing down mine!

But today I realized that the Six of Hearts card was right. I am surrounded by a community that is standing for my success in this adventure. SURROUNDED! People I don't even know are using their energy for my success! And the women that have shown up to support me are nothing shy of amazing! Isn't it nice when we raise each other up to greatness?

I haven't even publicly issued my website yet, or "officially" started selling and I already have Rhonda Kay, Pedro, Lisa, Auntie Lisa, Kelly, and my girlees tweaking it, making suggestions, creating new ideas, proofing it, adding to it! Lisa helped me come up with my "logo" concept (now just need to get it done by a graphic arts person). Kelly has offered to take all the cookie pictures for me! Ross has helped me get my website going (such a patient teacher). My husband is already selling the idea to people! And all it's cost me so far, is some cookies and $51 to own my domain. Ma'an! How great are these people in my life?

Add that to the fact that Rhonda Kay has already been talking it up to everyone at her work and told me how proud she is of me...My cousin Melissa sent me an email to wish me Good Luck and that she couldn't believe no one ever thought of this before...My sister-in-law Jennifer sent me an email congratulating me and thanking me for reminding her to be all you can be as God intended you to be...Kelly has added some great ideas to my business venture...Merry Me might be my biggest fan already and she hasn't even tried one yet...Terri doesn't even know me at all and is truly excited to see me succeed and buy cookies from me...My Auntie Lisa wants to know where she can buy my cookies (and caramel corn) :o) ...Chelley already wants to place an order, OH, and she bookmarked me!...AND I think my daughters are going to explode with excitement and they can't wait for Saturday!

But the best part so far has been this morning when I went to my Dad and Mom's house to drop off the first little Cookie Concoctions package (ever made) and tell them of my decision to start this business. My mom smiled so big that I think she hurt her cheeks and my dad did not have ONE fatherly thing to say except "OOOOOOO honey"!! Not one negative anything. (Thank you God) Molly was SO expecting it -- she was ready even. But we slapped that Bag in the face and said "uh-uh...honey, not today"! We aren't gonna play Molly's games right now! It's an amazing (and rare) feeling when you get to kick the butt of your negative little voice...when you get to win...when your real voice gets to be louder than "Its" voice.

Don't get me wrong. It is still going to be a bit of a struggle not to make the money that I am accustomed to making, not to go to work for someone else, not to lead people, not to help customers with deep, important issues, but I'm ready to create a life so outside of any box I may have colored that nothing else seems more important. And it's OK if I miss those things. I missed baking when I was building houses too.

I will be linking my new website to this shortly. I just have a few more things I want to do before I can. Thank you to all of you who have raised me up. I feel it and I know you will continue to do so. And thanks for helping me kick Molly's a..... :o) She deserved it! Know it all.

So Much to Do!!

"I am still convinced that a good, simple, homemade cookie is preferable to all the store-bought cookies one can find." ~ James Beard

Sing it from the mountain tops, James!

I have been working pretty hard (pretty fun is a more authentic word) to get ready for the release to the public of Cookie Concoctions. Shopping, dough making, pricing, recipe fine tuning, websites, "uniforms", business cards, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Geepers! Who knew making cookies required all of this?! Well, I did actually. I just had to go back into the recesses of my Professional Baker mind, do a few technology updates, and get to it.

I'm excited for Saturday! Saturday is the big Waukesha Art Crawl in downtown that Dani/Three Sisters' Spirit asked me to be a part of. I have no idea what to expect, so I just have to do my best to produce what could be sold that day. Again - no idea. I think we should think of it as an adventure into the unknown, only no dangerous fall, scary creatures, or stark ending. Now that's an adventure I can handle!

I also want to have my website up and "good enough" to present a lovely first impression along with all the basic business stuff. I get that it will evolve and become better, but for now, it's a bit of struggle for me as I am used to having the idea and telling the team of my vision and THEY execute it. Good lesson, I guess! Wow, an adventure and a life lesson! And I thought I was just selling cookies!

I wish you all could be there on Saturday. I'm making my (soon to be) famous Cake Batter Cookies and some beautiful crown shaped shortbread cookies (in honor of the Queen and all of her royal customers). I think they are going to be so beautiful! I hope you will come out if you are in the area (and of course I EXPECT all 354 of my closest relatives who (all) live in Waukesha to be there)!

This could be the start of something big...and at the very least, it's the start of me doing things that excite me, scare me, and challenge me again. And sometimes, that's all you can ask for...unless you have a friend that bakes really good, simple, homemade cookies!

My Husband's 2 Cents

"PS Please PLEASE make this come true for you. Yesterday was the 1st day in a long time I had my Tracey totally back. I missed her." ~ John Burdick

I thought my husband should have the quote and blog of the day, today. :o) Plus, doesn't he know my name is Sally?

I'm a Cookie Baker...apparently! :o)

"When you're true to who you are and what your spirit is telling you to do, that truth will indeed set you free." (I have no idea who said this, but I have had it in my "book of important things" for at least 5-8 years, and happened to look at it today!)

Today was a great day. I got a call from my Auntie Val on Sunday evening that she had just spent the entire weekend with my Nana cleaning out their house. And let me tell you, their house was BAD! Nana is on steroids right now and has turned into my feisty old grandmother again. She has literally worked her little tail off cleaning out, organizing, throwing out, etc. every closet, cabinet, drawer, and room in her house. Then they called me. Auntie Val said that Nana and Papa agreed to let me come over and clean their house (now). SERIOUSLY? Yes, seriously! I couldn't wait for this morning to come! I know, I know, and yes, I was seriously excited to clean (which I love any ol' way you look at it, but c'mon people, this is my grandparent's house!).

I feverishly got to work while they went to breakfast. When Nana came home she yelled "My house! IT SPARKLES!" Awwww. Well of course it does Nana! Then she came over and kissed and hugged me. REAL kiss and a REAL hug! Not one of her famous "Nana kisses". For those of you who are looking for me, please just look up...I'm the one floating on that cloud up there. :o)

Then I stopped in by Dani and Carolyn at Three Sisters' Spirit to drop something off for them and in my sweaty cleaning clothes with customers buzzing in and out (busy morning!) Dani asked me to get my butt to baking and (at least) start making some cookies to sell out of their store. Now, I didn't tell you all this last week, but when I went (last week) and had my readings done by she and Carolyn (something you MUST do!!), I made a special treat for our coffee clutching...Crown cookies. I know right - crowns for the Queen and her Princess. Well, they were a big hit and I'm so excited about my creation (I promise to make a batch and take pictures to post). Well, today, Carolyn "dropped the cards" again, just to see what had come up since Friday, and I want you all to be clear and present (and possibly sitting) when you read this next paragraph.....

I am going to do it. The name of my cookie business will be called...COOKIE CONCOCTIONS. "You create 'em, We bake 'em"! And the premise is this: I will have certain "base batters" -- peanut butter, oatmeal, lemon, sugar, etc. and then you will choose one base and up to 3 items to mix in! For instance, let's say you want a lemon cookie with macadamia nuts and craisins or a chocolate chip cookie with walnuts and toffee bits. No problem...and in many cases, I can have them done for you in as little as an hour! HOW'S THAT?! I know, right?! No matter what, I love to bake and this is just another extension of being in that love for me. And I will always be a baker, so again, just an extension of what I already am. Cookie Concoctions...the home of the Original Cake Batter Cookies! Ma'an, I'm telling you, it's one "Hot Cookie"! :o) You can almost feel my joy through the screen can't you?

When I came home today, I opened my book of Moxie to see what God may be whispering to me today (after all the above excitement) and this is what "he" had to say to me..."Give me a place to stand and I can move the world" (Archimedes). Did I mention that Dani offered to let me "stand" in her store to sell my cookies? Did I mention that? I should. I should mention that. :o)

I feel raised up today. By my husband, my new friends, my old friends (I thought Kelly was going to jump through the phone), my mom, my daughters (holy crap are they giddy).

I feel free-r today. Seems that when you are true to your spirit and what she is telling you to do, the truth has set me free. Ahhhhhhh.

PS Merry Me, don't you want to come along for the ride? :o)

Change or Clarity?

"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." ~Lynn Hall

On Friday, I visited with Dani and Carolyn from Three Sisters' Spirit. They offered to do a card reading on me. Sure I say! I've never had one and I believe that there are all sorts of different energies in God's beautiful world, so who am I to doubt this kind?

Within minutes I was crying. Minutes.

The "cards" told the story of this woman who was busy in the corporate world (literally the KING showed up in that space...what's higher than the King?). That was the life being left (apparently). And, true to my word to you, the money card showed that all would be taken care of and fine (well of course it would, I gave that up two decades ago). And then the new story unfolded of "this woman". The creativity card showed up twice and that "she" would be coveted by all of the people in her life that loved her, especially the women. Surrounded by them. Raised up by them and flowing in her creative spirit!

Now there is more to say than this, but I'm new to this and these are the parts that resounded over and over again in my brain for the last three days. In telling you, I hope I did the experience justice and gave it its due power, because truth be told, it can be a little overwhelming (especially since I didn't take notes)! Heck, I couldn't even explain it to my husband.

It's hard for me to imagine that my place in the world is not "at work" -- and by that, I mean someone else's work. It's hard to let go of the desire to lead teams and departments at work and inspire my co-workers to do a great job each day. Really hard. Because I liked that life. No, I LOVED that. I liked being proud of "my staff" and I liked being that kind of important. And if I'm not that, what am I?

Well, I'm not entirely sure...yet. But the 5 of Hearts showed up in a critical spot between the two stories and that, I have learned, is the card of change. And the 5 of HEARTS no less - HEARTS! I wept. It felt like something came over me that said "it's going to be alright...in fact, better than alright...Grand!" I'm weeping now just typing this. "Let it go" I keep hearing. "Give it to God". "Follow your joy". "Let it go.............."

Not sure how to do that??! How do I? How can I let go? How will my husband and children and father and mothers and sisters and friends and brother & sisters in laws and nieces and nephews and aunties and grandparents be proud of me if I do? Why does letting go feel like I failed? I'm overwhelmed by my feelings right now.

At the end of my reading(s), Carolyn said that she can see that I am on a (are you ready for this) Quest that feeds my soul. Huh. I've been saying for months that I am on a quest to find a great job. Maybe I got the path wrong? We BOTH used the word "quest".

Pedro told me on Friday that it seems to him that I am having a "crisis between my heart and my soul" and that my soul may just be saying "I'm not going with you". He challenged me to look at who is looking for the answers -- my soul or my ego. And ironically, just two hours before my reading w/ Dani and Carolyn, he suggested that possibly what is so upsetting to me is that my soul has declared that my past work life, since Wilderness, doesn't truly work any longer and that is just upsetting to someone like me because I don't have the next thing yet. And possibly in that phone call to my husband to tell him I could no longer take this (perfectly good) job, that what I was really doing was declaring to the universe that it wasn't working and that petty work doesn't work for me. Declaring to the universe and God that I was standing for something greater.

And perhaps what is really happening is that I am becoming more clearly myself. Molly (you know her by now, right...my "it", my "voice") hopes you will all still be proud of her.

Tracey knows you will be.

The B.O.O.K. Project

B.O.O.K. -- Books Offer Opportunities to Kids!!

Happy Random Ramblings on Friday! As many of you know, I am a (very proud) Girl Scout Leader of a group of 12 - 8th grade ladies and Caroline. Yup. She's her own troop of one. Why? Because she didn't want to be part of her original troop anymore due to the fact that she felt all they did was crafts. Well, that is NOT what Girl Scouting is by any means. The promise we GS's make is that "On my honor, I will try to serve God, and my country, and to help people at all times".

It is not to see how many ways you can make a picture frame out of foam art.

So Caroline decided that (Kelly &) I were going to be her leaders in her grand ol' troop of one and we were going to earn her Junior Bronze Award (the highest achievement a Junior GS can earn) and it typically takes about three years to earn. It entails doing badges and Sign Awards (which teach you in depth about a subject), earning her Leadership Award, and committing yourself to doing a project for a minimum of 15 hours that makes a positive impact in the community.

Caroline decided (after MUCH deliberation and research) to host a book drive to collect books for underprivileged schools in our communities. That book drive has officially started as of yesterday (and goes until June 2nd)! This is an exciting project that has already manifested a $20 donation to purchase new books (thank you Grampa Burdick), a donation of 10 books by a 4th grader that doesn't even know her (thank you MacKenzie), and a donation of 3 large boxes of books from one of the local libraries -- all before we even awoke yesterday! How great is that!!?

We will be (and have been) placing collection boxes in various places like libraries, work places, etc. We have also passed out empty grocery bags to all of our neighbors asking that if they would like to donate. If they do they simply leave the bag on their porch on a certain day for pick up. It's so exciting to think of what a difference this project can make and how many children it can touch!

If you would like to help out too, please let me know! And if you would like to read what Caroline has said about her project, please visit her blog! Happy Friday!

Mighty Oak Tree

"An acorn doesn't wonder if can be a mighty oak tree when it grows up!"

Huh. Kinda wish I was an acorn sometimes. It's not that I doubt MY worthiness or greatness, I doubt every one's (and by everyone, I mean people that don't know me) ability to believe in my Oak-ness. I'm not going to whine (again!) about (still) not being on any interviews for any of the great jobs I've applied for or rejection emails - even though they didn't even SEE if I was a consideration. No, I'm (clearly) not going to do that. :o) But it is amazing to me that I am dying to lift my branches, blossom, and grow and have yet to find the park to grow in. Amazing.

There was a ray of sun from that lady I spoke to you earlier about -- the one that dropped me like a bad first date. She did send me a brief note saying we could try to get together after the 15th. So, I hope she is her word because a part of me thinks she would be a very good resource, guide, and tool for me...and today is the 15th.

I'm working on a neat project for my final piece in my Women's Studies course at UW. It's a consciousness raising project that must incorporate blogs, websites, surveys, etc. in addition to the final paper that is due. I'm actually looking forward to it. It sounds creative and fun and interesting. I hope "you" will all help me by participating. I have decided (by democratic vote in my family) :o) to choose the topic of "The Price of Motherhood". It has really struck me, in this course, how messed up this country is as it comes to women. We raise our daughters to be smart and strong, go to college, get a great job, have kids and then what? Quit? Why? Why don't men have to quit? Why don't BOTH sexes have to give a little something up to raise great kids? Why isn't there a balance? I don't want my daughters to have to make that choice. They BOTH want to be something when they grow up IN ADDITION to being mothers, not instead of.

So that's my project. As soon as I get my site up, I'll add it to my sidebar here. I do hope you will chime in from time to time.

Off to start the day! Go get your vitamin D today! It's beautiful here in Mukwonago! :o)

Creativity

I decided that today's quotes will come to us by way of my crazy daughters! :o) I love to stretch and foster children. I love for them to know they are valued and capable. I love to find ways (or rather I love to invent or create ways) for them to think creatively. So I bought one of those fun magnetic word art boxes to see what would be created.

Now, for those of you who really know me, YES, this is causing hives all over my body due to the lack of order, the fact that anything is on my frig, and YES I have already wanted to clean it!!! But until I break, here is today's sunshine for you courtesy of my creative daughters who both want to have very creative jobs when they grow up!!

Things I Miss

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." ~ Mae West

I'm not a very materialistic person. I love trinkets and treasures and I love my house to be beautiful (whether by something the children in my life have made me, an antique I have stumbled upon, or the latest beautiful thing from Pottery Barn matters not to me). I love jewelry, but I also love making jewelry. I own every possible thing you can put in a kitchen, but that actually embarrasses me a little -- although, much like fishing, woodwork, scrap booking, and hunting, a girl MUST have her tools! I love purses and bags but only "allow" myself one per season and only if last year's is "out". I've never owned the latest electronic gadget (nor do I care to) but I do love our new TV (and yes, I know flat screens aren't considered "new" anymore...).

But I do miss some very funny "things" about not working (besides the obvious). I miss how my large, hot, yummy tea feels in my hand when I'm driving to work. I miss being the first one in the office and listening to the quiet hum of nothing around me while I brew the first of 26 pots of coffee that everyone will make and drink that day. I miss how that first cup of coffee, out of that first pot, tastes while I walk back to my desk to pour over the emails that have come in from the night before. I miss quietly reading and responding to them all before the hustle and bustle begins. I feel like I can be such a good listener when I pay attention to them at this time. I miss how the phone doesn't ring for that first hour or so that I am at work. Oh wait, I don't miss the phone not ringing -- I have that now! :o)

I know I'm an early riser (it's the Baker in me, I'm sure) so it was never a big deal for me to go to work early and be the first one in. In fact, when I was at the log home company, I actually used to be a little disappointed when someone on my staff came in before me. Now, I was proud of them for knowing that was what was needed to get their job done well that day, but it made me miss the quiet of the day. It actually started the day a little abruptly for me as that usually meant that someone was going to demand my attention before I was ready to give it.

I'm at my most creative when I am driving to work in the morning. Mostly 'cuz I hate driving more than just about anything...so my mind wanders and creates. I keep a notepad and pen(s) at my very instant disposal so that I am able to recall this or that at a more appropriate time. I miss that as well -- yes, even the driving.

It's funny what you miss when it's (things are) gone. I think I will drink my water out of my office "tippy cup" (as I call it since I'm such a klutz!) today. And for sure I will have my diet soda precisely at 10:00 am. It would help if the phone could ring about 79 times today and if I could get like 123 emails, that would be good too. :o) Hmmm....maybe I don't miss EVERYTHING!!

Shine

"You stand in your own light ~ Make it SHINE!"

I've decided that on Fridays, I will write about anything my little ol' shiny heart desires -- not just about The Great Job Quest. I think that's an appropriate time to simply spew "Random Ramblings". So here goes (and I promise I won't mention one thing about you know what...). That's OK, I don't think I can do it either.

I went to my favorite store yesterday, Three Sisters Spirit which happens to be owned by my favorite blogger (Dani) to buy my Nana and Papa a beautiful gift for their 65th (yes, I said 65th) wedding anniversary. I introduced myself to Dani (as we had not formally met in person yet). Had had my daughter not been with me to remind me we had to pick up my other daughter in an hour, I might just still be there! No really! It was so nice to have an authentic conversation with someone about themselves, myself, our worlds. So nice to be able to connect to another person on that level. It's a connection I have with very few other people and it's an honor to BE in that.

I found this little trinket (picture above) as Annie and I were getting ready to check out. How could I not have this?! Who made this? Did they know they were making it just for me? Well, really, who else could it be for?! I think it's funny that my husband immediately asked what I am going to do with it. Men are so cute aren't they? Oh honey...it doesn't matter WHAT I am going to do with it, it matters only that I have come back from another hunting expedition with another trophy!

Dani asked me how The Great Job Hunt was going this week (OK, so REALLY did you think I couldn't talk about it?). And, as she knew from my blogs, that I would say, "Quiet".

Then she turned into Pedro on me. I know right?! Pedro (Jeff) is my original authenticity coach. He first introduced me to the work I have been doing on myself for the past 15 years. He is the first to be tough on me, demanding that I be a stand for my authentic self. He doesn't pull any punches and he can see right through me - like I'm wearing a cellophane suit! And this lovely woman went fully Pedro on me (as if she channelled his spirit) and said quite frankly, "I know" and "of course it's quiet. And it will remain to be until you let go of whatever you are holding on to".

Oh someone has got to slow the Earth's rotation 'cuz I am about to Tuck and Roll!!

I hate when they're right, and apparently I have to say "they" now! Uggh. But she called me out - flat out. And when I stop hiding behind the story I created about how I am on The Great Job Hunt, I am left with the wanting. Which if I remember correctly was the subjects of my very first and third and probably 10th and 14th and 18th and 24th posts! Give up the wanting and all will be. Like I'm new to this information. Ha. I didn't just watch "The Secret", I've been trying to live it for more than 20 years! But apparently whatever it is that I am holding on to is bigger than the letting go (patronize me here people) or so I've created a story that says so. Now if I could just figure it out, I could move past stuck.

I'm pretty sure I know what it is, but not sure what to do next. You see, I have been able to identify my Originating Moment, the Fall from Innocence. We ALL have one and it is the single most important moment in your development and is chosen by no conscientious choice of your own. Mine was when I was eight. My mom was the maddest (not angriest, maddest - like a mean dog) she had ever been at me. Ironically, because I was being a terrible sister to my younger sister. I say ironically, as I may have had two moments in one because I am the MOST protective big sister you could have. I would literally give my life for each of my sisters without hesitation. Anyway, in that moment, my mom yelled at me that "she expected more from me". She expected me to behave in the manner of a leader and that someday I was gonna be good enough to be the President of the United States. Dude...I'm like 8. (Right now, my mom wants to jump off a cliff as she thinks this hurt me, even though we know it didn't and in fact has made me proud of who I am. But you can't tell her negative little voice that as "it" won't listen -- Right Ma?).

Well that was it. You can look back at my entire school history and EVERY comment I ever got was about how I shined as the class leader or was too bossy (in my leading, of course). I was the President of my Jr. and Sr. High School class and I was President of my cooking school class. And GOD FORBID I don't have one of the highest titles in the office! Then there's the matter of wishing we didn't even have titles -- that we could all just get the work done. It's a constant ying and yang for me. Have a title, don't want a title. Don't have a title, want a title. Tuck and Roll people!!

It is one of the reasons I left Horizon. While yes I was truly overqualified and bored, I also didn't have a title that I, myself, respected. When I was at Korndoerfer, they had no idea what title to give me since I did so much, so we didn't. And I loved that job. Oh brother. I need help. Oh, did I mention that Dani challenged me on this within the first five minutes of our chat? Did I mention the cellophane suit I was wearing, apparently?

I'm going back to have coffee and couch time with her. We'll bring our stories out and possibly help each other. No matter what, I'm sure I will be left feeling like my heart shined a little brighter because of her and maybe, just maybe, we'll figure what Molly (I named the negative little voice my head) is holding on to. Ma'an she bugs me...Molly, not Dani. :o)

Wow, Random Ramblings wasn't very random at all this week. Well, maybe next time. Any way you look at, I hope your Friday SHINES!

Standing in My Own Way

"Do something great!"

I say this to my daughters nearly every day when I drop them off at school. Because every day is a new possibility for something great!

Apparently, I am not doing it for myself though. Clearly, I'm standing in my own way as I have come up with no other reason why I have not been on a job interview since December. You know...of LAST YEAR! And while I was a finalist for that position (a tough position that was really going to stretch my thinking out of the box yet being respectful to an industry that has formed best practices over the last 100 + years), they hired someone who could "strap the tool belt on" as we say in this industry. I think that was a wrong choice as it seems to me that if a Production Manager has to strap the tools on to get the job done instead of the subs that were hired to do the job in the first place (incidentally that are being PAID to do the job) then to me, that is a person failing at that job. But, I don't run the company now do I? Yet, again, I can clearly see what is missing in that picture now can't I?

So clearly, I am doing something incorrect, not good enough, and/or that is sabotaging my efforts to find a great job (or career as my daughter Annie pointed out to me last week as the word "job" isn't the right "energy" now is it?!). But I just simply don't know what it is. I felt on top of the world when I thought my resume sucked. Huh...that's funny. But really -- it felt like I had figured out what is wrong (and PUH-LEASE don't say the economy!!) and that I could fix it and make it all right. After all, other than understanding people, that is "my thing" - figuring out what's missing, wrong, incomplete, could be better, and fixing it. Well, I've applied for at least a dozen jobs with my new resume -- jobs I would really like to have -- and nuthin'. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. And add to that the fact that the lady I told you all about that said she was willing to help me address this has apparently dropped off the face of the planet (ya' know, kinda like a first date who doesn't ever want to talk to you again - that kind of dropped off the planet) as apparently she is too busy for me or just plain ol' not interested in helping (I wouldn't know what the answer is since she hasn't responded to a single email of late -- SEE, first-date dropped off!!).

Someone has got to tell me what the heck I am doing wrong!! PLEASE GOD! I'll fix it! I'll do it. Well, that's not entirely true. I won't apply for jobs that I feel are easy enough, or I'm qualified enough for. I am (only) applying for jobs that will push me to shine again. Thus the change in our languag-ing from "job" to "career". I know I could have had a "job" by now, but again, that's not good enough for me. I want to make a difference and play big and transform how work gets done. Uggh. I don't know what's worse. The not knowing what to do or the fact that I'm not doing anything.

Off to clean the upstairs. At least I still have my pride!

Inspi(RED)

Rediscove(RED) ~ Rediscover you. Admire yourself more often. You are as beautiful as your heart remembers. ~ (Product)RED

My niece, Budda Girl, gave me a thank you gift for making her ladybug cake. It's a new little book of inspiring quotes and "Words of Hope and Courage" directly related to one of my favorite causes - The Red Campaign. I LOVE the Red Campaign! I think it's genius! Wow! How did Budda know that about me at her wise ol' age of 5? And more importantly, how did she know that something so thoughtful would be so meaningful to me especially at this time of my life? That's one smart cookie! :o) Thoughtful too.

I opened the book last night before going to bed and turned instantly to the quote above. There are dozens and dozens of inspirational words in this book and I turned to this one first. I chalk it up to another God Whisper. It's a good reminder don't you think? And timely.

Rediscove(RED) ~ Rediscover you. Admire yourself more often. You are as beautiful as your heart remembers.

At the beginning of the week I was challenging what I have come to know to be true about myself (at work). Am I really as good as I say I am? Did they really mean that when this or that happened or was said? Was I really in charge of this and that and doing it really well? Did I really inspire, drive, touch, and move people the way I experienced that I had? If I did all of these things, and did them well, why am I not working for a great company yet?

And I know I did. I stopped to remember my heart or rather, I rediscove(RED) it. It's OK that I haven't found that great job yet ~ after all, there aren't as many great leaders and companies out there as there are "perfectly fine" ones. And I don't want a "perfectly fine" one (again). I'm not applying for "perfectly fine" jobs - I'm seeking companies who have leaders that want fantastic people surrounding them and not as a marketing tool, as an authentic way of their being.

I'm in love with the new show "Undercover Boss". I cry each and every time I watch it. It's a wonderful show, especially for people like me who love work, about the leader of the company going undercover and working IN their own company; generally as an entry-level person. I would love to work for some of these people. The gentleman who runs Waste Management is an inspiring person who cares way past his desk. The CEO from the episode last week (the Herschend Company) is a christian who resigned from his position as CEO of Saturn because he no longer wanted such an unhealthy work/life balance for himself, his wife, and four daughters. He was such a lovely, authentic, heart-centered man and he brought me to tears when he showed his heart. Maybe the people that work there used to think their jobs were "perfectly fine", but I bet after the lessons these CEO's learned by being in their own companies it will make a difference.

I think they both/all stopped to rediscover their own hearts and in the process, I believe, will impact many others. I'm going to try really hard not to get down about how much the phone ISN'T ringing. It's all part of my (RED)O -- a starting over and it is "the bravest kind of starting there is". No really -- it's in the book!

Oh, and Lisa, thanks for having Nutu(RED) me with this gift from Budda. :o)