I'm Back On...

I'm back on coffee.

My brother in law, who makes me stinkin' laugh all the darn time, kept telling us that he was "off of sugar" all during our family Christmas party last weekend. I giggled every time he said it and he was dead serious when saying it. First of all, do you think he knows that his Sister in Law opened a bakery and brought three decadent desserts for our Christmas? Apparently that didn't matter cuz he was off of them/sugar. Well, you gotta give him an A for his convictions any ol' way.

So to steal his quote, I decided that the thing I am going to bring back for 2011 (I always "bring something back" and "ban" something each year) is...COFFEE!! Rich, Dark, Bold, Decadent COFFEE. I am SO back on coffee. I'm back I tell you.

I went cold turkey about 3 or 4 years ago and switched to tea with only the occasional cup of Jo here and there. But no more I say! I want it back in all of it's glorious, mug huggin', sensuous divinity. Now, I'm not banning the tea, I'm just back on coffee -- and I see lots of it in my future! Bring it! Iced, Hot, Coconut Creamer, Peppermint Creamer, Cinnamon Caramel creamer, black, latte style, ALL OF IT! I'm back on coffee people!

You heard me Jamez, I'm back on coffee! Not sure what I'm gonna ban yet for the year, but I AM gonna make a mug of delicious black gold right now! I thought I should bring it back a little early!

Thankful vs Fretting

Today I am thankful for our slowest day EVER...I'm not sure why yet, I just think my attitude should be one of thankfulness vs fret. For if nothing else, it helps me to know when our family is "safe" to go on vacations! :o)

I'm also thankful for all the great stuff my husband made for me in the bakery today that I can put out to sell tomorrow. I love being able to find stuff that he can help w/ -- not only in the making but in the generating of revenue!

Weekend Run Down

I've been a Girl Scout leader for nearly 8 years now. It's been a wonderful experience and we still have a troop of more than 10 young ladies in their teens that want to make a difference in the world - and all the while, I get to walk along side them as they make strides to do just that which moves their hearts to action. What a blessing it has been to watch these young girls BEcome such wonderful pillars in their community. I am so proud of them. I am so blessed.

Each Monday, the national Girl Scout blog I follow posts a "Weekend Run Down" report. They post about all that has happened on the business side of Girl Scouting as well as all the wonderful things that "girls" around the nation have done to earn various leadership awards in scouting.

I thought about that tonight and thought how great all of our lives would be if we did the same. If each of us posted our "Weekend Run Downs" about all that is great in our lives and all the great things that happened in our experience of our life. Even those that don't blog. Maybe you just want to journal it or tell it to God. Sometimes speaking out loud is the first great step in manifesting greatness for yourself (and others). Sometimes you need to stop and reflect to "get it" -- really get it. Sometimes seeing the DOING helps you BEcome an even more beautiful you.

How can it not work, really.

In a post I wrote much earlier this year, I quoted from the RED campaign. It still is my favorite of all of their quotes -- RediscoveRED -- "Rediscover you. Admire yourself more often. You are as beautiful as your heart remembers." Maybe in the "rundown" we can rediscover and admire and reflect and remember. Not just how beautiful the moment(s) was/were, but how beautiful we were IN the moment.

This past weekend (which came to a close for me yesterday as I had four days off), brought about rest, fun with family, snuggles, laughs, adventure, a sense of completion and organization, silliness and the realization that Christmas is full of excitement because of one thing and one thing only -- people trying to show other people how much they mean to each other. Each year, my youngest daughter (Caroline) signs her Christmas Family Memory Book page with "I love my family". However it is that you define "your family", I bet your Weekend Rundown includes lots and lots of ways that you seized the moment of Christmas and it meant a great deal to you...and them.

Time to Shine

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." ~ Steve Martin

Two things to "report" about today. First is to acknowledge that this is my least favorite day of the year. Do you really still ask why? It is the shortest "day" of the year today, Dec. 21st -- a day with the least amount of (wait for it....) SUNSHINE! Yuck. Who needs that? The good news is that from tomorrow on, the days get longer and that means more sunshine each day coming out to shine! I do love to shine you know?!

Second...As I mentioned a while back, CityGal Magazine asked me to be a contributing writer for their on-line magazine and I asked my daughters to do it with me and everyone agreed! Well, it is official that we (Annie, Caroline and I) have had our first article published this month! The Perspective Gals are in the house! Our first topic was on "fashion" and our goal was to pick a simple topic, say nothing to each other while we write, and each write about that topic in our totally and completely own perspective. I loved how it turned out and invite you to join the fun! Here are the links if you are interested!

My Perspective
Annie's
Caroline's

Time to shine on don't you think? :o)

Secretary in my Head

Today I am thankful for perfect timing. I truly didn't stop moving today (until now). Even when I was on the computer this morning checking emails, I was also balancing my checkbook, making out my menu and grocery list, doing the laundry, etc. And today, every single thing I did fell perfectly into place at just the right time. That amazes me. All errands run, all appointments met without being late for any of them, and tasks on today's "Must Do" list done. In fact, it is 4:34 right now and Yoga starts in 26 minutes, so technically, I have all my chores for the day done and have 26 minutes to spare. What a rush?! Yup, I know...I need help......

So today, I am thankful for the little secretary in my brain that keeps everything moving along just perfectly. You know her -- she's the one that also tells me when stuff is done in the oven and in my 30 years of baking, I have never once used a timer and have burnt very little. I know, right?!

I'm so gonna have to get her something for Secretary's Day....ooooo, maybe a massage. I bet she'd love that! :o)

Assistance

Today I am grateful for Megan. Megan is my new assistant at the bakery and she is going to cooking school full time. Friday mornings have become my new favorite time of the week because that young lady comes in to work! And by work, I mean W O R K! Together I feel like we actually catch me up for a few days! So today I am thankful for Megan...and God bringing her to the bakery to introduce herself to me when we opened!

Cookies

Today I am thankful for cookies. Though I had to remind myself to be grateful of them on several occasions today. It seems like that is all I'm baking lately and I have pounded out some pretty stinkin' great breads of late, but alas, it's all about the cookies. Truth is, those cookies pay the bills this time of year and I am so grateful for that. I also love, love, love cookies, so what's to complain about?

Besides, at least I'm making Santa's Fav'! :o) You don't see people leaving turtle cupcakes or cinnamon swirl cheesecakes out for Santa now do ya'?

Ma'an...we need to reconsider this whole cookie thing............. :o)

100

This is my 100th posting. Huh. Seems there should be a cake or something -- maybe I should have baked one! :o)

People I love keep asking me if I am going to quit my blog. I don't know why they ask me that. I'm clear I don't have hours upon hours to write anymore (or even a few minutes some days), but there is time to write sometimes and I, my friends, am no quitter.

My vision, goals and rewards for my blog are different now than they were 100 posts ago, but it is no less important to me. Then I "did it" to be open to new possibilities, for people who didn't know me but may be a link to a potentially great job opportunity could get to know more about me, to expose myself to new ways of connecting, but mostly to find an avenue that built a bridge out into the world from the little island I was closing myself onto.

Sure, I don't use it to find a new job any longer, but I love the friends I have made by blogging (Dani, Mary, Carolyn, Teri...). I love that people I love have a way to learn more about me and my real self (as I'm not a very good verbal communicator at all!!) (Lisa, my step mom). I love how "safe" this form of communicating is for me -- feels like it's ok to write about what's in my heart because I will actually get it out without crying in a distracting way (like when I write about my girls, people I love, etc.). But mostly, I love that I am using my heart to tell people (that I love) stuff that is true for me in a way that I KNOW that I would not tell otherwise (right honey?). :o)

So today, I am grateful for my 100th blog post. I'm grateful for all that it has brought to my life in the past year and I am grateful for the growth I have experienced in doing it. I am grateful that you read it as in each posting I am thinking of those that I know read my words and I feel a connection to you as I pour out the words from my heart.

Family Luvin'

My niece moved out of her family house and in with my dad and step mom this past 2 weeks. I have missed her so much over the past 18 years that when I am not with her now, it hurts more than it did when I would go for months and months without seeing or talking to her (not by our choice). So today, I am thankful that the pain of missing her is one that is fleeting and will, or rather, CAN be relieved at just about any ol' time I can make an 8 minute commute to love her! And I am grateful for nieces and nephews that have filled my heart, head and life with more joy than I can ever, EVER, possibly express here or to anyone in words.

Exciting Days

Today I am thankful for a day that light up my week!

I sold $250 worth of gift certificates today for someone who wants to give them to her employees and family! How amazingly wonderful is that? I am also thoughtful that I built it and they are coming as we have sold more than a dozen of our new homemade cards by Lisa and just today sold two of the pictures off our walls that Kelly photographed! It's amazing!

I don't think I could lay my head down on the pillow tonight anymore grateful than I am feeling right now!

Tears

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears..." ~ Charles Dickens

I've noticed as each year passes that I am able to cry with much more ease. All jokes about peri-menopause aside, I don't fear crying anymore. I used to. But I'm not afraid to cry anymore - ever. Though I do make fun of myself when the Huggies commercial comes on and the baby's diaper doesn't fit her, but otherwise I have an entirely new view on it.

I think that I am not afraid to cry anymore because for the last dozen or so years, I have been a work in progress and my biggest exercise has been in authenticity. So inauthentic was the old me that friends and I have named my "old" personality, Molly. That bi_ch never cried. Well she couldn't. She was too busy being tough, ever-strong, the leader -- cold if you ask me (now).

Truth is, I think crying, in any form, is the authentic self coming to the surface. Holding it back, keeping it down, trying to stop or hide it is disingenuous. You want to cry, you want to feel, you want to experience. So why then do we make up stories that we can't, shouldn't, won't?

I want to spend the second half of my life paying attention to my life, feeling all that I can, and learning who I am in that moment. I want to feel like I am a tough, brave, strong woman when I cry because I tell my daughters how much I love them, or when the stress is too much to bear some days, or when my cats are so stinkin' cute and loving that I want to burst, or when the character in the movie/book/story dies or suffers in some way or better yet celebrates joy. I want to feel all that there is to feel in that moment.

I'm not ashamed to cry anymore. I'm not ashamed to cry while talking to you, or sitting quietly by myself, or watching a movie. I'm just not. But it does weird me out when "you" look (stare) at me when I am. I don't want "you" to not see me, I just want you to know that the woman you are looking at isn't afraid to BE my authentic self. I'm not afraid to experience all of my emotions. And I hope when you are done staring, you will see a part of your own self that just missed out on the experience, because "you" chose to be something other than free to cry, free to feel, while you were staring at a woman not afraid to show her heart to you.

I'm so tired........

Today I am thankful for all the people that came out to our little town to have fun making cookie ornaments and writing letters to Santa and having their picture taken with him too. I'm thankful for my niece Hannah Lynne and I'm thankful for my friends and family that think soooo much of me that they would drive all the way out to our sweet little bakery to have some holiday fun with us!

I'm also thankful that days end and that my couch is a mere 7 steps away.........goood nighttttt!

Kitties, trust, prayers

Today I am grateful for kitties that love me so much, daughters that trust me, and funny prayers.

I am so impressed by how Bigearra hears the garage door open and runs to the lockers to wait right by the door until he sees us and then meows at us about finally being home to rub him. Caroline has "trust issues" -- big time. I keep working thru' them, but nonetheless, they show up all the time. I finally got her to trust me enough that she needed her eyebrows waxed for the first time and the pain would be minimal. She gave into "peer pressure" as she calls and is thankful she did it. And tonight at prayer time, Annie said thanks for weekends FOUR different ways, didn't realize she did it, and then we reminded her it's only Wednesday. HA! Good times!