Today I am grateful for showers.
My days are so structured doing this and that and then this again, that to actually STOP and meditate or simply pause in my day to breathe deeply isn't gonna happen, and quite frankly, I'm a little too high strung for it not to happen. So what I have been doing for the past year now is to use the calming, hot-ness of my showers to be the time that I pause and reflect and listen to my breath. In. Out.
While water dances all over my body and both warms and calms me. Yup, I do love a hot shower.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Daughter's Journey
"Flowing thru her, it pressed against her heart. mixing with pieces of her insides, it flowed out of her, back to the world, and into her work. and that was her offering." ~ Teri, Bone Sigh Arts
She taught us so much in her experience. She felt each moment, did her "job", and shared it with all of us.
My friend Mary lost her dad last night. I lost another piece of my "old self" learning of his passing. I found another way to find peace in all the mistakes our parents made (to us) and all of the mistakes I make as a parent. I found peace, through her journey, as my friend Mary will struggle to find in the coming days.
Mary knew of her daddy's eminent passing as she became the gentle caregiver and best friend to her dad for the past years. And through this journey, Mary found grace through words and her words scattered grace over all of us that she touched with them. I didn't even know her father, but when she wrote of the time that she fell down an icy hill and looked up to find his stoic figure reaching down to help her little body up, I felt as if I could walk with my arm locked in his down the street or sit on a park bench and skip stones into the water with him. When I read her story of the attic to my husband, even he, who doesn't know Mary or her father, felt the pull on his own fatherly heart. Mary has walked us through her daughterly life and made us all better daughters because of her journey.
My sweet Mary. May you find peace in the last chapter. May you find time to skip through sunny fields of flowers with no worries of time or regrets for having spent any. And may you always feel the love of the daughters you have forever changed.
There is a part of a BoneSigh that I think is so perfect for this time and (I swear) written JUST FOR our sweet Mary at just this given time -- "...she set down the past and gently, with great care, she held the present. She held him and she held love."
Thank you for teaching us all that, Mary, and may God continue to hold your heart!
She taught us so much in her experience. She felt each moment, did her "job", and shared it with all of us.
My friend Mary lost her dad last night. I lost another piece of my "old self" learning of his passing. I found another way to find peace in all the mistakes our parents made (to us) and all of the mistakes I make as a parent. I found peace, through her journey, as my friend Mary will struggle to find in the coming days.
Mary knew of her daddy's eminent passing as she became the gentle caregiver and best friend to her dad for the past years. And through this journey, Mary found grace through words and her words scattered grace over all of us that she touched with them. I didn't even know her father, but when she wrote of the time that she fell down an icy hill and looked up to find his stoic figure reaching down to help her little body up, I felt as if I could walk with my arm locked in his down the street or sit on a park bench and skip stones into the water with him. When I read her story of the attic to my husband, even he, who doesn't know Mary or her father, felt the pull on his own fatherly heart. Mary has walked us through her daughterly life and made us all better daughters because of her journey.
My sweet Mary. May you find peace in the last chapter. May you find time to skip through sunny fields of flowers with no worries of time or regrets for having spent any. And may you always feel the love of the daughters you have forever changed.
There is a part of a BoneSigh that I think is so perfect for this time and (I swear) written JUST FOR our sweet Mary at just this given time -- "...she set down the past and gently, with great care, she held the present. She held him and she held love."
Thank you for teaching us all that, Mary, and may God continue to hold your heart!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Young and Authentic
Today I am thankful for authentic friends. Annie is at a formal winter dance tonight. Her friend, Carmel, is sitting on the couch w/ John (he makes their friends call him "Your Highness") and I watching a movie. She didn't want to go to the dance. She doesn't understand them. She wonders why anyone would want to spend all that time and money getting purdy just to go to some place where the lights are barely on and then get all sticky and sweaty within minutes of arriving. And don't get her started on the shoes.
She's 15. She's brilliant. She's beautiful. She's authentic.
She's waiting w/ His Highness and I until Annie and her friends come back from the dance so she can have some fun w/ them at the sleepover happening here after the dance. Now that fun she is up for.
In the meantime, she's sittin' here on the couch, watching a movie, teaching me about "Being".
She's 15. She's brilliant. She's beautiful. She's authentic.
She's waiting w/ His Highness and I until Annie and her friends come back from the dance so she can have some fun w/ them at the sleepover happening here after the dance. Now that fun she is up for.
In the meantime, she's sittin' here on the couch, watching a movie, teaching me about "Being".
Monday, January 17, 2011
The King of Faith
"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the entire staircase." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today I am grateful for the courage Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had to live his truth. Today I am grateful that I have lived in a world where HE made a difference. Today I am grateful for his faith.
Today I am grateful for the courage Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had to live his truth. Today I am grateful that I have lived in a world where HE made a difference. Today I am grateful for his faith.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dose of Sunshine
I've been dreaming of vacations again lately. I shouldn't be, what with me opening a new business and all (just 5 short months ago), but I am, we are, and we decided that we're going. That's weird.
I'm gonna to have to close the bakery, but each day brings a little more peace about that decision. I realize that I may loose some customers, but then again, I might just gain some more. You know, the kind that get that my family and my sense of peace come before all else and those that too feel the pull of the short amount of time left to spend with our/your children as children with adulthood looming in the all too near "future".
So we're going on vacation. And just dreaming of the warmth of the sun baking on my skin is enough to fill me with happy. I do love a good dose of sunshine. Then again, you probably knew that.
I'm gonna to have to close the bakery, but each day brings a little more peace about that decision. I realize that I may loose some customers, but then again, I might just gain some more. You know, the kind that get that my family and my sense of peace come before all else and those that too feel the pull of the short amount of time left to spend with our/your children as children with adulthood looming in the all too near "future".
So we're going on vacation. And just dreaming of the warmth of the sun baking on my skin is enough to fill me with happy. I do love a good dose of sunshine. Then again, you probably knew that.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Happiness
I've been having this overwhelming sense of happiness INSIDE of my body lately. It's weird, but I absolutely know what it is. And it's surging out of my skin -- like truly. I FEEL it pulsing through my being. And for no particular reason in the world.
In fact, it seems that I should be feeling quite the opposite -- after all, it's the dead middle of this f'ing thing we call Winter in Wisconsin (which I hate more than any, ANY, thing in the whole wide world), my best friend's father was just told he will be lucky to make it to Christmas (which goes along w/ the fact that her sister-in-law was given the SAME "news") and there are no words to describe her sadness...my sister in law (& friend) :o) just got some yucky health news about her sister which piles on to her struggles she is having w/ my God-daughter (her youngest daughter) and her husband's "health" issues...my arm is still killing me....and then there's the fact that it's hard to keep my brain in the game right now because we are so slow in our little town of Genesee Depot...AND the added burden of never having enough time (or days off) anymore, I should REALLY be feeling quite the opposite.
But I'm not. My body is a surge of moving goooo and my energy levels are extremely high. Maybe it's cuz I'm back on coffee. Nah...I only have 1-2 cups a day, so c'mon, really? Maybe this is that "coming into your own" thing that folks always say happens in your 40's?? I dunno.
I do know this, I'm not pregnant, I don't do drugs (never have), and it doesn't matter. Maybe it's simply the fact that even though Jeanne and Lisa and others know that I love them and love them and love them and maybe having delivered that communication is enough to create a moment of peace inside of me.
Or it's the coffee.
In fact, it seems that I should be feeling quite the opposite -- after all, it's the dead middle of this f'ing thing we call Winter in Wisconsin (which I hate more than any, ANY, thing in the whole wide world), my best friend's father was just told he will be lucky to make it to Christmas (which goes along w/ the fact that her sister-in-law was given the SAME "news") and there are no words to describe her sadness...my sister in law (& friend) :o) just got some yucky health news about her sister which piles on to her struggles she is having w/ my God-daughter (her youngest daughter) and her husband's "health" issues...my arm is still killing me....and then there's the fact that it's hard to keep my brain in the game right now because we are so slow in our little town of Genesee Depot...AND the added burden of never having enough time (or days off) anymore, I should REALLY be feeling quite the opposite.
But I'm not. My body is a surge of moving goooo and my energy levels are extremely high. Maybe it's cuz I'm back on coffee. Nah...I only have 1-2 cups a day, so c'mon, really? Maybe this is that "coming into your own" thing that folks always say happens in your 40's?? I dunno.
I do know this, I'm not pregnant, I don't do drugs (never have), and it doesn't matter. Maybe it's simply the fact that even though Jeanne and Lisa and others know that I love them and love them and love them and maybe having delivered that communication is enough to create a moment of peace inside of me.
Or it's the coffee.
Monday, January 10, 2011
One more to go!
Today I am thankful for bustin' a hump! I'm thankful for the health, strength and organizational skills God gave me to work on my to-do list! I got SOOOO much done today that I feel like a million dollars! No time to write, but I'm not gonna beat myself up for that. There was no less than 15 things on my to-do list for today and I only have ONE LEFT to complete! Laundry basket of clothes to put away, here I come!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Postcards
Today I am thankful for my daughters who usually make me laugh until I cry! I should tell you that, and I am saying this truthfully, we have the smartest dumb kids ever! If there was a grade better than an A, that is how smart they are -- really -- straight A, off the chart students. Now, having said that...my youngest ran to the mailbox to get our mail today. She sent us a postcard from her other house. AND, it was the postcard that she forgot to send when she was on her vacation on the East coast w/ her other family. SO, she was so excited to have found it and then she walked it to the mailbox herself and put up the flag.
"Ma, it didn't come yet!"
"Honey, did YOU PUT it IN the mailbox, yourself?"
"Yes, Ma, and I put the flag up and everything."
In a quick and smart ass fashion I say, "Honey, did you put a stamp on it?" (after all, you do have a whole section on mail in Kindergarten!)
"WHAT? It needs a stamp!"
I know, right?! :o) BTW, she was dead pan serious!
"Ma, it didn't come yet!"
"Honey, did YOU PUT it IN the mailbox, yourself?"
"Yes, Ma, and I put the flag up and everything."
In a quick and smart ass fashion I say, "Honey, did you put a stamp on it?" (after all, you do have a whole section on mail in Kindergarten!)
"WHAT? It needs a stamp!"
I know, right?! :o) BTW, she was dead pan serious!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Yoga
Today I am thankful for Yoga (or Joga as my "Mexican Daughter" pronounces it). I feel stronger and for the past three years I have (for the first time EVER) been able to touch my toes. That has to count for something!?!
I'm also thankful for massages for today I took one hour out of my day to give myself that treat at my favoritest salon here in little ol' Muk-Town USA. I think I actually stopped wearing my shoulders as earrings for about an hour today! Love that! And my headache finally went away...I'm just saying -- massage, good!
I'm also thankful for massages for today I took one hour out of my day to give myself that treat at my favoritest salon here in little ol' Muk-Town USA. I think I actually stopped wearing my shoulders as earrings for about an hour today! Love that! And my headache finally went away...I'm just saying -- massage, good!
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